Monastic Mom

Communication is two way - or what was that you said

Communication is an important part of family life whether between spouses or between parents and children.  Communication can be difficult because has two parts - a speaker expresses their thoughts clearly and the listener has to hear and understand what is said.  If speaker and listener are not in sync then communication does not take place.   Compounding this is our differences - differences between males and females, differences between generations.  And our constantly laying over other meanings on the each other words.

Example of this is a parent and child talking.
Parent thinks: I'd like to take the kids shopping this evening, but if my child has too much homework we won't be able to go.
Parent says:  Do you have much homework tonight?
Child thinks:  Here it comes the nag
Child says: I dunno
Parent thinks How is it possible not to know how much homework.
Parent says: Well, can you check?
Child thinks:  What a bother, can't my parents just trust me with my homework.
Child says: In a minute.

And so it goes escalating into war.   The parent is trying to find information and the child is perceiving distrust and a nag from the parent.  Total miscommunication.  Better communication to is express our ideas fully so there is less chance of misinterpretation.
Parent says:  I'd like to take you shopping this evening, but I'm wondering if we have time with your homework.  Do you have of homework tonight?
Child says:  I'm not sure, let me check.

Double checking is sometimes important.  "Can you tell me what you think I've said."

What have I written here and what have you read?  

More on communication next month.

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